Watan mere...
12 years ago
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Karma is a bitch...
Sometimes, its frustrating to see someone who has wronged you in so many different ways to sit beside you and smile away. I know things are not always as they seem, but its frustrating anyway. Over time, I have developed the ability to block out nastiness and unpleasant memories. Sometimes, they resurface. But I always find solace in believing that no matter what, payback is a bitch! At the same time, I strongly believe that good things will happen to good people. Life gets difficult for everyone at some point, sometimes more than others, but good actions do reap good rewards in due time. Just keep working hard, and stay true to yourself! You just can't go wrong!
Friday, August 19, 2011
2011 - to this day
On a contemplative afternoon, looking back at 2011 up until today, its been a roller coaster ride. It has been the most happening year of my life, by far. And has even followed a roller coaster pattern, with splashes of adventure at every turn. The downs have been the lowest, but were never spent in loneliness. This year, I was only re-assured that I have the most amazing friends in the world. Every time, I needed to pick myself up and continue the fight, I had the love of my friends and family to give me that extra push. Lots has changed and lots will change during the remains of 2011. But it has all been so worth it! Thank you! You know who you are!
Friday, July 15, 2011
Its not what lies underneath but what you do that defines you!!!!
Its actually a line from Batman Begins but definitely stuck in my head. I used to think that noble intentions matter and nothing else, but I have moved away from that school of thought. A person might have a golden heart but might cause hurt all around him/her, due to stubbornness, ego or simply bad judgement. At the end of the day, to the people around him/her, what really matter are the actions. A golden heart will only take you so far! It isn't a bad idea to think twice when the repercussions of your actions might influence or affect another.
All people believe that they are good. No one in this world sits around thinking I am bad and I want to do bad things. The action carried out by someone that we perceive as bad or not-so-nice is justified in that person's head by good intentions or some justifiable excuse, most of the time.
We are all being judged by people around us, all the time - some of these people matter, while most do not! The people who matter will tell you when your actions are defining a wrong you, and these are the people you want to keep close.
As with most things in this world, actions and reactions are very subjective, but it might be nice to remember that Karma is a bitch. :-)
All people believe that they are good. No one in this world sits around thinking I am bad and I want to do bad things. The action carried out by someone that we perceive as bad or not-so-nice is justified in that person's head by good intentions or some justifiable excuse, most of the time.
We are all being judged by people around us, all the time - some of these people matter, while most do not! The people who matter will tell you when your actions are defining a wrong you, and these are the people you want to keep close.
As with most things in this world, actions and reactions are very subjective, but it might be nice to remember that Karma is a bitch. :-)
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Time to Talk: Mumbai...
24 hours post the 13/7 blasts: I sit at my computer 7900 miles from my hometown, Mumbai and watch the live updates on the grief and destruction caused in my city. What can I do from here? Not much. What could I have done if I were in Mumbai right now? Like most Mumbaikars, not much.
I am outraged when I see political parties attack each other under the shadow of such inhumane actions, using the "failure of the system", "failure of appropriate policies", "intelligence failure" and more to bring the other party down. Answer me this. Does it matter to the family of the person whose body was found with a severed limb or head, which party says the right thing in the aftermath? NO! Does it matter that some people are proud that the police and ambulence arrived a few minutes earlier than they did on 26/11? NO! Oh Look! The Prime minister is visiting the wounded. Great! He should. Oh look! The uniformed are performing their duties better this time. Good. They should have done so earlier too.
Mumbai is outraged and so am I. Why are we not learning from our mistakes? Are we really that stupid or does the death of 17 with 133 injured seem like a number that isn't too big in a country of a billion? 150 families will never be the same, not to mention the people who knew these people closely, worked with them, saw them die. Innocent lives have been lost. Clerks, shop-owners and middle class workers who have nothing to do with power or communal disharmony. The people they have left behind will never be the same. Most people turn apathetic because they have not been directly involved. But we must not forget that
Just because it hasn't happened to us or someone we know closely, we cannot justify not caring. The next time it could be you or me or someone we love.
Let there not be a next time! Let us work towards that goal.
Multiple people on Facebook quoted a dialogue from the movie "A Wednesday": "We are resilient by force, not by choice". Mumbaikars all over who were patted on their backs for going to work 12 hours after the attack, were not amused. They had to, even if they didn't want to. They must feed their families.
People are spreading rumors. Blaming Pakistan. Calling it a celebration of Kasab's birthday. Let us take a breath and be a little intelligent about it. It wasn't even Kasab's birthday. Someone altered the Wikipedia article and changed it from 13/09 to 13/07.
We need to use all the resources we have to find the culprits. Learn from our mistakes. What could we have done better? How do we prevent such a horrific event in the future?
We need to take action! As a people. As a government. Action must include better training for our disaster management, for our police, for our forensic teams. Why are our blast sites accessible to common junta? We are a chaotic nation. True! Bringing order and organization is a huge task, but it is not impossible. Let us start with making realistic policies and making sure we implement them, and not spend another 10 years drafting the paperwork. Metal detectors at C.S.T still do not work. One can see people walk around them all the time. What use is it to have these and spend our tax money when they do not have a purpose? If we spend money on giving our policemen fancy firearms to carry, let us also spend some effort in making sure the training they receive is up-to-date to match the equipment. Let us update our instruction manuals and data on which policies are made. Let us not over-work the force we have. Let us have a strong disaster management in place. Let us make sure that the police seal areas like crime sites securely and no one can access these without permission or until they have been swept for evidence. Time and again, it has been the common man who comes to the rescue and take victims to hospitals immediately after the incident, be it an accident or a shooting. That is because there is no trust that those responsible will show up on time. That trust can only be built by example.
Mumbai, I salute you. But tolerance has a limit. As an Indian, I cannot sit quietly and see my people suffer. No longer is this just about a city. It is about the nation. We said a lot of things after 26/11. Let there not be a time when we say "but we said this after 13/07 too". We are a very passive and tolerant population. It is time we show the world that we will not put our second cheek forward when slapped on the first. Let us start by stopping spending 100s of crores on keeping terror convicts in jail and feeding them. Does it really take this long to prove their crime and then punish them for it? Let us make a statement!
- An outraged Indian
I am outraged when I see political parties attack each other under the shadow of such inhumane actions, using the "failure of the system", "failure of appropriate policies", "intelligence failure" and more to bring the other party down. Answer me this. Does it matter to the family of the person whose body was found with a severed limb or head, which party says the right thing in the aftermath? NO! Does it matter that some people are proud that the police and ambulence arrived a few minutes earlier than they did on 26/11? NO! Oh Look! The Prime minister is visiting the wounded. Great! He should. Oh look! The uniformed are performing their duties better this time. Good. They should have done so earlier too.
Mumbai is outraged and so am I. Why are we not learning from our mistakes? Are we really that stupid or does the death of 17 with 133 injured seem like a number that isn't too big in a country of a billion? 150 families will never be the same, not to mention the people who knew these people closely, worked with them, saw them die. Innocent lives have been lost. Clerks, shop-owners and middle class workers who have nothing to do with power or communal disharmony. The people they have left behind will never be the same. Most people turn apathetic because they have not been directly involved. But we must not forget that
Just because it hasn't happened to us or someone we know closely, we cannot justify not caring. The next time it could be you or me or someone we love.
Let there not be a next time! Let us work towards that goal.
Multiple people on Facebook quoted a dialogue from the movie "A Wednesday": "We are resilient by force, not by choice". Mumbaikars all over who were patted on their backs for going to work 12 hours after the attack, were not amused. They had to, even if they didn't want to. They must feed their families.
People are spreading rumors. Blaming Pakistan. Calling it a celebration of Kasab's birthday. Let us take a breath and be a little intelligent about it. It wasn't even Kasab's birthday. Someone altered the Wikipedia article and changed it from 13/09 to 13/07.
We need to use all the resources we have to find the culprits. Learn from our mistakes. What could we have done better? How do we prevent such a horrific event in the future?
We need to take action! As a people. As a government. Action must include better training for our disaster management, for our police, for our forensic teams. Why are our blast sites accessible to common junta? We are a chaotic nation. True! Bringing order and organization is a huge task, but it is not impossible. Let us start with making realistic policies and making sure we implement them, and not spend another 10 years drafting the paperwork. Metal detectors at C.S.T still do not work. One can see people walk around them all the time. What use is it to have these and spend our tax money when they do not have a purpose? If we spend money on giving our policemen fancy firearms to carry, let us also spend some effort in making sure the training they receive is up-to-date to match the equipment. Let us update our instruction manuals and data on which policies are made. Let us not over-work the force we have. Let us have a strong disaster management in place. Let us make sure that the police seal areas like crime sites securely and no one can access these without permission or until they have been swept for evidence. Time and again, it has been the common man who comes to the rescue and take victims to hospitals immediately after the incident, be it an accident or a shooting. That is because there is no trust that those responsible will show up on time. That trust can only be built by example.
Mumbai, I salute you. But tolerance has a limit. As an Indian, I cannot sit quietly and see my people suffer. No longer is this just about a city. It is about the nation. We said a lot of things after 26/11. Let there not be a time when we say "but we said this after 13/07 too". We are a very passive and tolerant population. It is time we show the world that we will not put our second cheek forward when slapped on the first. Let us start by stopping spending 100s of crores on keeping terror convicts in jail and feeding them. Does it really take this long to prove their crime and then punish them for it? Let us make a statement!
- An outraged Indian
Thursday, January 8, 2009
A story long ago...
This came as a small surprise. Apparently, I wrote a short story 3-4 years ago and I suddenly found it online as an unofficial undergrad magazine pdf. Anyway, I don't exactly recall writing it but it certainly sounds like me. Check it out below. Please note: I have left the grammatical errors untouched.
FOOTSTEPS:
Everything was blank; black and plain; without any patterns. She closed her eyes and tried to open them again. Perhaps, they would accustom themselves to the dark abyss she now experienced and then, show her the path. But her lids were heavy and her legs reluctant. What on Earth was she experiencing!!!
It was a matter of time and a mountain of patience that the influence of sense overpowered the void and her eyes opened through slits. Some more time and she finally saw her body as it lay within the dense bushes she had passed only 15minutes ago. And yet it seemed like eons!!!
What had happened??? Why was she here??? And How??
She had known all along; it had seemed too good to be true. But this???
A tear rolled down her numb cheek. She remembered being happy, exuberant, smiling, laughing, dancing, but above all, experiencing a feeling of completeness. All this, as they rose a toast to her promising future at a campsite about 5km away.
Was it all going to end??? Would she die, her body intertwined in a bush because no one found her???
She would not let that happen. NEVER. She was a fighter, a survivor.
She had come down to the countryside for a camp 2 days ago, to feel close to nature and its plenitude of miracles. There was also another reason. After years of struggle and non-stop hard work, her determined stance had earned her a place of prestige in the technical circle at work.
But then she had felt an uncanny dejection within. She had lost herself along the way. Somewhere, peace had vanished and an unease had seeped in. Life’s goals had gone astray and all her dreams had been forgotten in carving out an identity for herself. She wanted to find herself; look inside the lady of poise she projected herself to be.
After a party celebrating her successes, she had taken the time she needed, with no one but herself. So, accompanied by a flashlight, she had strolled away from human life; away from camp; away from the chaos…
As she had strode along the dirt-path, for the first time in a decade, she could feel the existence of tranquility. It was everywhere; in the rhythmic stir of the leaves, in the harmony that was suspended in the air, in the continuous hum of the night, in the proof of reality…
Right then, something had disturbed the train of emotions, something behind the trees did not seem to fit the canvas. Alert yourself… look, think, act… do not panic… she had told herself…
Words came easy, but panic didn’t. She was not among those who lost their sobriety in danger. She continued to be clear-headed. Until…
It was a wild animal. Not small enough to be taken lightly but dangerous enough to tell her to run. The sudden bedlam had been enough to make her drop the flashlight that could have guided her or perhaps, scared the animal away.
She turned and started running. As fast as her legs could!!! Maybe she should have given more attention to fitness and sports!!! She turned just in time to make out an outline of a creature and in that millisecond, she couldn’t remember its name but calculate the speed at which it was chasing her and soon would catch up… she had very little time…
All thoughts came flashing down at once. Her childhood and the urge to find out how everything around her functioned… her school friends; how long had it been since she had seen them!!! her constant fights with her parents, the day she walked out of the house promising herself never to return again; how she wished she could tell them how much she had missed them all these years… her foray into biotechnology, her first published paper, the applause she had received as she walked onto the stage to collect the ‘most promising researcher of the year’ award… her first love, her only love and
how she had ruined it because of her thirst to reach the top; had it even been
worth it???
She tried to collect herself. There was nothing ahead but the same deserted dirt road she had come by. Campsite was far away. Following her instincts, she took a left and jumped into the chasm, hoping it would save her life.
She felt her leg twist; did she hear her bone crack? She didn’t know. It had suddenly got silent… and she had passed out…
Now, after coming back to consciousness, and her senses loading, she felt pain go through her body. She could not move. Something had happened. She had broken some bones and half her body had gone numb. The animal had probably given up.
Now all she had to do was wait… for life or death…
Life is funny, isn’t it? All our lives we want something, and when we get it, we discover it wasn’t what we really wanted in the first place. But then, maybe it isn’t life. It is we, the people that live them…
I know it sounds too philosophical but that is how we humans are. In reality, we don’t know what we want or need. All we know is that there is something out there that will make us content and someday, we’ll find it. In the process, we set so-called ‘goals’ and strive one-at-a-time to achieve them, hoping it will give us the satisfaction that will please destiny.
When the veracity hits us, it gets too difficult to digest and the best way to flee it is rejection…
With all thoughts clouding her consciousness again, she closed her eyes, as if the darkness would answer some questions…
After another decade she opened her eyes, a pain now neutralized by numbness. There was light. Maybe it was heaven. And there was a figure in it too, having the form of a human.
‘Miss? Can you hear me? Give me your hand.’ They had finally found her…
It had taken 32 years but life had changed in the past few hours. But isn’t that why we call it life???
FOOTSTEPS:
Everything was blank; black and plain; without any patterns. She closed her eyes and tried to open them again. Perhaps, they would accustom themselves to the dark abyss she now experienced and then, show her the path. But her lids were heavy and her legs reluctant. What on Earth was she experiencing!!!
It was a matter of time and a mountain of patience that the influence of sense overpowered the void and her eyes opened through slits. Some more time and she finally saw her body as it lay within the dense bushes she had passed only 15minutes ago. And yet it seemed like eons!!!
What had happened??? Why was she here??? And How??
She had known all along; it had seemed too good to be true. But this???
A tear rolled down her numb cheek. She remembered being happy, exuberant, smiling, laughing, dancing, but above all, experiencing a feeling of completeness. All this, as they rose a toast to her promising future at a campsite about 5km away.
Was it all going to end??? Would she die, her body intertwined in a bush because no one found her???
She would not let that happen. NEVER. She was a fighter, a survivor.
She had come down to the countryside for a camp 2 days ago, to feel close to nature and its plenitude of miracles. There was also another reason. After years of struggle and non-stop hard work, her determined stance had earned her a place of prestige in the technical circle at work.
But then she had felt an uncanny dejection within. She had lost herself along the way. Somewhere, peace had vanished and an unease had seeped in. Life’s goals had gone astray and all her dreams had been forgotten in carving out an identity for herself. She wanted to find herself; look inside the lady of poise she projected herself to be.
After a party celebrating her successes, she had taken the time she needed, with no one but herself. So, accompanied by a flashlight, she had strolled away from human life; away from camp; away from the chaos…
As she had strode along the dirt-path, for the first time in a decade, she could feel the existence of tranquility. It was everywhere; in the rhythmic stir of the leaves, in the harmony that was suspended in the air, in the continuous hum of the night, in the proof of reality…
Right then, something had disturbed the train of emotions, something behind the trees did not seem to fit the canvas. Alert yourself… look, think, act… do not panic… she had told herself…
Words came easy, but panic didn’t. She was not among those who lost their sobriety in danger. She continued to be clear-headed. Until…
It was a wild animal. Not small enough to be taken lightly but dangerous enough to tell her to run. The sudden bedlam had been enough to make her drop the flashlight that could have guided her or perhaps, scared the animal away.
She turned and started running. As fast as her legs could!!! Maybe she should have given more attention to fitness and sports!!! She turned just in time to make out an outline of a creature and in that millisecond, she couldn’t remember its name but calculate the speed at which it was chasing her and soon would catch up… she had very little time…
All thoughts came flashing down at once. Her childhood and the urge to find out how everything around her functioned… her school friends; how long had it been since she had seen them!!! her constant fights with her parents, the day she walked out of the house promising herself never to return again; how she wished she could tell them how much she had missed them all these years… her foray into biotechnology, her first published paper, the applause she had received as she walked onto the stage to collect the ‘most promising researcher of the year’ award… her first love, her only love and
how she had ruined it because of her thirst to reach the top; had it even been
worth it???
She tried to collect herself. There was nothing ahead but the same deserted dirt road she had come by. Campsite was far away. Following her instincts, she took a left and jumped into the chasm, hoping it would save her life.
She felt her leg twist; did she hear her bone crack? She didn’t know. It had suddenly got silent… and she had passed out…
Now, after coming back to consciousness, and her senses loading, she felt pain go through her body. She could not move. Something had happened. She had broken some bones and half her body had gone numb. The animal had probably given up.
Now all she had to do was wait… for life or death…
Life is funny, isn’t it? All our lives we want something, and when we get it, we discover it wasn’t what we really wanted in the first place. But then, maybe it isn’t life. It is we, the people that live them…
I know it sounds too philosophical but that is how we humans are. In reality, we don’t know what we want or need. All we know is that there is something out there that will make us content and someday, we’ll find it. In the process, we set so-called ‘goals’ and strive one-at-a-time to achieve them, hoping it will give us the satisfaction that will please destiny.
When the veracity hits us, it gets too difficult to digest and the best way to flee it is rejection…
With all thoughts clouding her consciousness again, she closed her eyes, as if the darkness would answer some questions…
After another decade she opened her eyes, a pain now neutralized by numbness. There was light. Maybe it was heaven. And there was a figure in it too, having the form of a human.
‘Miss? Can you hear me? Give me your hand.’ They had finally found her…
It had taken 32 years but life had changed in the past few hours. But isn’t that why we call it life???
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Beliefs!!!
My friend always teases me about how I always "strongly believe" in things. As weird as it sounds, it is true. I "believe" in a lot of things and sometimes, I might be wrong but luckily, I haven't lost trust in my beliefs yet.
I believe in HOPE. That things are never as bad as they seem. That there is always good in everything that happens. That good things happen to good people. That there is always light at the end of the tunnel, the crack of dawn at the end of the night. All is lost when this hope is lost. It is the underlying strength in all things.
Life is good. Bad incidents occur but then also pass. Sometimes, they leave behind a lot of distress and its never easy but then, life was never meant to be easy. Believing in good is very important to me. Trying to be as nice as possible to someone who has not been so nice might be a favor you do to them because you will break a chain of A not nice to B-->B not nice to C-->C not nice to... Yes I have crazy logic.
I believe in HOPE. That things are never as bad as they seem. That there is always good in everything that happens. That good things happen to good people. That there is always light at the end of the tunnel, the crack of dawn at the end of the night. All is lost when this hope is lost. It is the underlying strength in all things.
Life is good. Bad incidents occur but then also pass. Sometimes, they leave behind a lot of distress and its never easy but then, life was never meant to be easy. Believing in good is very important to me. Trying to be as nice as possible to someone who has not been so nice might be a favor you do to them because you will break a chain of A not nice to B-->B not nice to C-->C not nice to... Yes I have crazy logic.
Monday, June 30, 2008
Living a life...
I am terrible at saying 'no'... I also have a great power of tolerance... I can keep taking crap for a very long time... But once, a threshold is reached (note this could take forever), i draw a line... It is difficult and it is not something i wish for, but there is only so much that i can take... Which come s to why people take someone for granted... If there is something i have learnt from life, it is never take anything for granted... You never know when it can be snatched away from you... Not your parents, not your friends or your love... You never know when the last bitter statement you make to your loved one, could end up being the last thing you ever said to them... You never know when the last time your dismissal of the urge to say "I love you Dad" could be the moment you regret for the rest of your life coz you didnt have an opportunity to say it again... You never know when the last thing you did today was the last thing you did ever... When someone learns to make the most of every moment of life, he has learnt the value of life... It is not easy... Time flies, we say... Actually time goes at its pace, but did you make the most of today? Did you hug your mom this morning? Did you tell your grandparents you love them??? Did you tell your spouse how meaningless your life is without them???
Sunday, June 22, 2008
their stories...
Once upon a time, when I was a little girl, without the worries of the world and with the stubbornness that would move mountains, I had a favorite past time... It was something I always looked forward to... I would wait eagerly to go to Dreamland Society in Chembur, where my grandparents lived...
I had a fun childhood; probably one of the best... I am the eldest grandchild maternally, and thus, was pampered a lot... I have always been the apple of my grandparents' eyes... While I was growing up, I used to go live at their place quite often... All through the day, my uncles would play games with me and my brother... Immi Mama would have all sorts of "weird" collections... From lighters (from different countries) to Naan-chaakus... He showed us how to fire a rifle, taught my bro Karate, and so on... Acchu Mama on the other hand, taught me how to make plants out of saplings and I did that a lot... I used to pretend to help get coconuts from the tree in their backyard (pretend because someone else atually did it while I tried my best to move the tree with the amazing strength in my 7 year old hands)... When my friends would come home, we would use the storeroom as our "house" and cook make-believe food on make-believe stoves...
And then came story time... When my grand-dad came home, he would seat me on his lap and tell me his shikaar ke kisse (hunting stories)... He used to hunt deer and wild rabbits with his father during his growing years... He grew up in the village and had all sorts of adventure stories that amused and excited me... The night his father mistakenly shot a tiger that attacked their nursery, the day they blinded a wild rabbit that suddenly jumped before their jeep... The stories never ended...
Then came evening time when my grand-mom would cook chapatis (Indian bread) for the family and I would take part of the dough and make mini-chapatis, that she would then help me cook on the stove... Come night-time, I would look forward to the bed-time stories that my grand-mom would save up for me... Each story had a moral that made me think a lot... Each story had an exciting adventure... Most of them were cut-outs from her Gujarati newspaper... She would ignore her tiredness and go on till I would drift off into my world of dreams...
And so my adventurous day would end...
I miss it all...
I had a fun childhood; probably one of the best... I am the eldest grandchild maternally, and thus, was pampered a lot... I have always been the apple of my grandparents' eyes... While I was growing up, I used to go live at their place quite often... All through the day, my uncles would play games with me and my brother... Immi Mama would have all sorts of "weird" collections... From lighters (from different countries) to Naan-chaakus... He showed us how to fire a rifle, taught my bro Karate, and so on... Acchu Mama on the other hand, taught me how to make plants out of saplings and I did that a lot... I used to pretend to help get coconuts from the tree in their backyard (pretend because someone else atually did it while I tried my best to move the tree with the amazing strength in my 7 year old hands)... When my friends would come home, we would use the storeroom as our "house" and cook make-believe food on make-believe stoves...
And then came story time... When my grand-dad came home, he would seat me on his lap and tell me his shikaar ke kisse (hunting stories)... He used to hunt deer and wild rabbits with his father during his growing years... He grew up in the village and had all sorts of adventure stories that amused and excited me... The night his father mistakenly shot a tiger that attacked their nursery, the day they blinded a wild rabbit that suddenly jumped before their jeep... The stories never ended...
Then came evening time when my grand-mom would cook chapatis (Indian bread) for the family and I would take part of the dough and make mini-chapatis, that she would then help me cook on the stove... Come night-time, I would look forward to the bed-time stories that my grand-mom would save up for me... Each story had a moral that made me think a lot... Each story had an exciting adventure... Most of them were cut-outs from her Gujarati newspaper... She would ignore her tiredness and go on till I would drift off into my world of dreams...
And so my adventurous day would end...
I miss it all...
Monday, June 16, 2008
bitter...
So recently, I have become one of the biggest fans of House MD... As absurd as it may sound, I seem to find a connection with Dr. House... No, I do not walk with a cane or snap at everyone I meet... I am not mean or rude to every person :) Theres something deeper to that character that makes me think a lot...
He always says "Everybody lies"... I have always believed otherwise... According to me, every person is basically nice and good... That you should always trust people... That punishing someone else for something someone did to you at some point in time, is wrong... This attitude of mine has always led me to hurt and most often than I would like, betrayal... But for some reason, I know I will always think this way...
Mom always said "Learn something good you see from every person you meet"... This has made me the person I am today... I trust because I can be trusted... I believe people dont lie unnecessarily, because I dont lie... Seriously, I don't!!! That doesnt mean I have never lied but I have never done it if it wasnt to save someone distress or hurt... Believe it or not!!!
Coming back to House, I like studying damaged or screwed up people (reel characters)... Also, it makes you realize you are not as screwed up as you think... There are people way worse than you... I believe nothing in life can be worse than not being able to trust... Imagine not being able to be vulnerable and open up completely to that one person you want to be with!!! Trust is not easy and many people will disagree with me...
BUT tell me what can be more tragic than finding the person of your dreams and then not being able to make it, just because you could not bring yourself to trust him/her... And why??? Because you were too afraid or just too insecure??? Think about it...
He always says "Everybody lies"... I have always believed otherwise... According to me, every person is basically nice and good... That you should always trust people... That punishing someone else for something someone did to you at some point in time, is wrong... This attitude of mine has always led me to hurt and most often than I would like, betrayal... But for some reason, I know I will always think this way...
Mom always said "Learn something good you see from every person you meet"... This has made me the person I am today... I trust because I can be trusted... I believe people dont lie unnecessarily, because I dont lie... Seriously, I don't!!! That doesnt mean I have never lied but I have never done it if it wasnt to save someone distress or hurt... Believe it or not!!!
Coming back to House, I like studying damaged or screwed up people (reel characters)... Also, it makes you realize you are not as screwed up as you think... There are people way worse than you... I believe nothing in life can be worse than not being able to trust... Imagine not being able to be vulnerable and open up completely to that one person you want to be with!!! Trust is not easy and many people will disagree with me...
BUT tell me what can be more tragic than finding the person of your dreams and then not being able to make it, just because you could not bring yourself to trust him/her... And why??? Because you were too afraid or just too insecure??? Think about it...
Friday, June 13, 2008
Choices...
They are never easy... For a Libran like me, its next to impossible; actually its impossible to make a choice and be sure of it...
A voice once explained the reason for the most traumatic event of my life, in one word: "yes"... that might not mean anything to people who dont know me but trust me on this... I do believe there is a reason for everything in life... the most horrible events as well... I do not know why certain things have happened in my as well as the lives of those around me... But I know at some point, the reasons will be uncovered... So does that mean I am talking about divine reasons???
I recently read a book chapter based on St.Augustine's preachings and beliefs... The chapter ended with a question that made me wonder... It said that if we believe God is omniscient, then that means he knows which of us will do what and when and thus, he knows the fate of each one... But if everything is pre-determined, then what are we doing here exactly???
I believe in fate... My definitions of a lot of things are deviant from the usual (by the way)... I believe in Karma... Every action has a reaction... Newton said so too... But our actions are not the only ones affecting what happens to us... Neither is anything random... If that were the case, too many unreasonable things would occur just too often... In fact, there is a logic and reasoning attached to each event... It isnt as simple as A-->B... If I compare this "logic" of mine to a regulatory network (thats my computational biologist awakening), then each subcircuit would be an event and all the factors, proteins and other "unknown" factors involved in providing functionality to this subcircuit would be the Karmas... And then there are many unknown (un-understood) layers that add to the complexity of the definition of this subcircuit...
Next time you make a choice, know that it WILL definitely affect your life in the future... And it might just be the best decision you ever made... I trust my unknown layer called intuition a lot more...
TRUST YOURSELF!!!
A voice once explained the reason for the most traumatic event of my life, in one word: "yes"... that might not mean anything to people who dont know me but trust me on this... I do believe there is a reason for everything in life... the most horrible events as well... I do not know why certain things have happened in my as well as the lives of those around me... But I know at some point, the reasons will be uncovered... So does that mean I am talking about divine reasons???
I recently read a book chapter based on St.Augustine's preachings and beliefs... The chapter ended with a question that made me wonder... It said that if we believe God is omniscient, then that means he knows which of us will do what and when and thus, he knows the fate of each one... But if everything is pre-determined, then what are we doing here exactly???
I believe in fate... My definitions of a lot of things are deviant from the usual (by the way)... I believe in Karma... Every action has a reaction... Newton said so too... But our actions are not the only ones affecting what happens to us... Neither is anything random... If that were the case, too many unreasonable things would occur just too often... In fact, there is a logic and reasoning attached to each event... It isnt as simple as A-->B... If I compare this "logic" of mine to a regulatory network (thats my computational biologist awakening), then each subcircuit would be an event and all the factors, proteins and other "unknown" factors involved in providing functionality to this subcircuit would be the Karmas... And then there are many unknown (un-understood) layers that add to the complexity of the definition of this subcircuit...
Next time you make a choice, know that it WILL definitely affect your life in the future... And it might just be the best decision you ever made... I trust my unknown layer called intuition a lot more...
TRUST YOURSELF!!!
Friday, June 6, 2008
Nostalgia...
Was reading my old comments on some blogs back in 2005. Brought back lots of memories. Funny how time just swoops past by... How much people change and how much the way we think or approach things changes... Nostalgia!!! Its not always a good thing...
I found a comment I left that describes how I disagreed with the author and told him/her that it all boils down to perspective... that you neednt feel alone just 'coz you are sitting alone... That somewhere in this world someone awaits you... Someone loves you... I wonder whether i still believe that... I guess I do... But have I been there where one feels all alone even in a room full of people??? Of course!!! I have seen loneliness in all its colors; caused by various people/occurrences... Do I still believe someone out there loves me so I should not feel that way??? Yes...
Hurt!!! Its all very subjective... Why do we get hurt??? Because we give those close to us the power to hurt us... An enemy you could care less for will not hurt you the way your loved one would... But I would rather experience that closeness and be hurt than be deprived of it altogether... Everyone loves to be wanted...
Here I sit at 1:30am writing more "beliefs"... I wont stop... Never learnt to... Never will... I changed my motto a long time ago to
BRING IT ON...
Monday, June 2, 2008
The measure of a man is the men that measure by him...
I just saw The Bucket List...Since I am writing a post about it, it is needless to say that the movie left a mark on me... Very rarely do I come across movies that teach you something... Now that my 2 posts have been about movies, let me tell you I am not a movie buff... I have gone an entire year without watching a single one... But if i come across a good one, I don't miss it...
Back to what this is about... Life!!! So over-rated; so cliched... But still, there's something about it that we like coming up with theories and our takes at what life is about...In the midst of growing up, learning, setting goals, striving to achieve them, taking care of one's responsibilities etc etc, one forgets to live... Have I "lived" every minute of the 23 years of my life??? NO... Why not? I don't know...
A poster in my old room said "In life, one does not regret the things one did but the things one did not do". No line could be truer... But you know what, there is always time for realization and change... Often, we accept the truths (supposedly so) of life but rarely do people have the courage to step up and do something about them... Watching two terminally ill people going around the world living and making the most of what they have made me smile... It made me think a little more...
I thought about the year I made a new year resolution to do one new thing everyday... Something I had never done before and how I stuck to it for the next 4 months... Then, did I forget or lose interest? Not really... I just became a little more realistic... Even today, I try my best to stick to that resolution at every chance I get... Many people spend their lives living at the will of others... Maybe it is sacrifice... But I do not believe in living a life where at the end, all you have is a lot of unfinished business... Make the people you love happy... But when you are happy, making others around you happy is the easiest thing in the world...
"When was the last time you lay in the grass under the sun, without a worry?": This was a question a dying patient asked her doctor in an episode of Scrubs... I asked myself that question... And I didn't remember...
Life is not as complicated as we make it out to be... Life is just about living... Nothing more... But the living is what makes it the most beautiful thing that has ever existed...
Back to what this is about... Life!!! So over-rated; so cliched... But still, there's something about it that we like coming up with theories and our takes at what life is about...In the midst of growing up, learning, setting goals, striving to achieve them, taking care of one's responsibilities etc etc, one forgets to live... Have I "lived" every minute of the 23 years of my life??? NO... Why not? I don't know...
A poster in my old room said "In life, one does not regret the things one did but the things one did not do". No line could be truer... But you know what, there is always time for realization and change... Often, we accept the truths (supposedly so) of life but rarely do people have the courage to step up and do something about them... Watching two terminally ill people going around the world living and making the most of what they have made me smile... It made me think a little more...
I thought about the year I made a new year resolution to do one new thing everyday... Something I had never done before and how I stuck to it for the next 4 months... Then, did I forget or lose interest? Not really... I just became a little more realistic... Even today, I try my best to stick to that resolution at every chance I get... Many people spend their lives living at the will of others... Maybe it is sacrifice... But I do not believe in living a life where at the end, all you have is a lot of unfinished business... Make the people you love happy... But when you are happy, making others around you happy is the easiest thing in the world...
"When was the last time you lay in the grass under the sun, without a worry?": This was a question a dying patient asked her doctor in an episode of Scrubs... I asked myself that question... And I didn't remember...
Life is not as complicated as we make it out to be... Life is just about living... Nothing more... But the living is what makes it the most beautiful thing that has ever existed...
Saturday, May 31, 2008
The first one...
So I heard people keep coming up with blogs to state how they waste time... For a change, I have decided to go with the tide and join the clan...
My latest fad is watching Animated movies... I was never a huge fan of them so my knowledge was close to zero... The only animated movies I had seen earlier are Finding Nemo, The Lion King and Jungle book... Loved them all... My new target is watching all the best ones that I missed... I started with Horton hears a Who and went on to the Toy Story series... And thats the plan for Saturday...
I used to hate Physics as a subject; mainly because I never really understood it... Thats why I never learned to think from a physics perspective... When people around me spoke of Biophysics problems, I must sadly admit, I closed my ears to them... All that changed with an impulsive buy at amazon.com... I was reading a news article on the discovery website when I came across an interview with Miciho Kaku... He mentioned his latest book Physics of the Impossible... I checked up the book and ended up buying it along with Parallel Worlds... I must say those books have changed the way I think in a lot of ways... They have opened my mind to new horizons I was afraid to look at...
A parting word: A bus stop outside my office building reads an advertisement for a college... It is not the college but the slogan that caught my attention and made me appreciate the power to think...
FEAR NOTHING BUT A CLOSED MIND...
My latest fad is watching Animated movies... I was never a huge fan of them so my knowledge was close to zero... The only animated movies I had seen earlier are Finding Nemo, The Lion King and Jungle book... Loved them all... My new target is watching all the best ones that I missed... I started with Horton hears a Who and went on to the Toy Story series... And thats the plan for Saturday...
I used to hate Physics as a subject; mainly because I never really understood it... Thats why I never learned to think from a physics perspective... When people around me spoke of Biophysics problems, I must sadly admit, I closed my ears to them... All that changed with an impulsive buy at amazon.com... I was reading a news article on the discovery website when I came across an interview with Miciho Kaku... He mentioned his latest book Physics of the Impossible... I checked up the book and ended up buying it along with Parallel Worlds... I must say those books have changed the way I think in a lot of ways... They have opened my mind to new horizons I was afraid to look at...
A parting word: A bus stop outside my office building reads an advertisement for a college... It is not the college but the slogan that caught my attention and made me appreciate the power to think...
FEAR NOTHING BUT A CLOSED MIND...
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